I was at the post office the other day mailing postcards to friends and family. In most countries you are able to buy stamps in the same place where you are able to purchase postcards, but this is not the case in India. So be it. I was open to the idea of a journey to the post office anyway. After waiting in a line that really didn't exist except in my imagination, I learned two things: one, don't make up things that create obstacles like lines and use your words even if you think it makes you look stupid. I had waited in that "line" for 45 minutes so when I finally made it up to the window you can imagine my reaction when the guy said I needed to wait in the other line for the other window where I would be able to buy stamps. With forced patience I moved to the other line where I learned to cut the queue. I got to the window where a very tired older man and I communicated via notes that what I needed was stamps for 6 postcards. He sold me the stamps and told me to go put them on. I put them on the cards and returned only to be told that I needed to take the stamped postcards to the window I had gone to first. I went back to that line and cut to the front and attempted to hand my postcards to the man. His reply was a shake of his head and a look of disappointment when he told me it was a holiday weekend. What this had to do with me I had no idea...until he elaborated. He said that because it was a holiday weekend the postal rates were higher and as a result I needed another 2 rupee stamp on each postcard. With what little energy I had left after the 2 hours I had already been there I said to him "Fine, I'll pay the 2 more rupees. Just give me the stamps." His reply was borrowed from the French: impossible! I needed to go back to the other window to purchase more stamps. Indeed if India only had a system imagine what they could do...
In Africa getting money was difficult, in Europe traveling from A to B was difficult, but in India everything is hard!!
You commented on how much I was able to read on my journey, but truly it's as a matter of preservation not only self but otherwise. I do a lot of hurrying up to wait, so I bring a book along, the alternative is to run in circles like a child until I get dizzy enough to pass out. I prefer a book. The one I'm reading right now called "A Mapmaker's Dream" is about a monk in 16th century Venice who struggles to create a perfect map of the world without ever leaving his cell. Travelers bring him tales from all over the world and he uses the info to more accurately depict the lines of demarkation, but what he discovers is that the lines created are only set by those in our minds. It was much more philosophical than I am giving it credit for, but I really enjoyed it:) It also helped to pass the time in the airport when the power went out...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A method to the madness???
Women wear toe rings because it is supposed to bring a healthy baby, so it also acts as a symbol of marriage and trying to have a child. When they do have a child a black power is put on the cheek of the baby to ward off the evil eye and to make the baby look less cute so as to discourage the necessity of passing the coconut shell with candle inside to break the spell. Indian mothers are the most protective and actively involved in their children's life I've seen in any culture.
Whenever a welcoming ceremony was performed in both Nepal and India they would give us garlands of flowers, but I began to notice, and too frequently for it to be a coincidence, that there was hair wrapped within the necklace. When I asked about this they explained that hair is seen as a relic of beauty and that it is given to the gods on many different occasions and that children's heads are shaved when they are very young to ensure thick hair...but just in case the shaved hair of the baby is given as an offering. They said that the hair in the garland was a way of "combining beauties".
Ash, kum kum or sandlewood are worn on the foreheads of the people in the south for two reasons: 1) the ash is a reminder that one day we too will be ash and 2) when put on the place on the forehead, it has an immediate cooling property to it.
India is where modern laws and ancient traditions collide. In a country where love affairs are punishable by death and you must be 25 to drink alcohol, one learns that what is written in the law books and what can be enforced in a population so dense are two different things. In a nation where 24% of GDP goes to national security and defense because of tension with China, Bangladesh and Pakistan. 5 million of India's 1.1 billion citizens are in the military.
I think the most surprising part of Indian culture wasn't the ceremonies, but rather the unexpected conservatism and socially acceptable domestic violence. When traveling to cover up countries you expect the repression of women; it's not only understood by the population it is written into law, but when you arrive in a country so exposed to the western culture and realize how little of it has been adopted it makes you wonder. Women in many parts of the country still ride side saddle on motorbikes and cover their faces in public. Indeed, many of the people especially in the south, are "educated", but I think a distinction needs to be made here when talking about education. Just because you are literate doesn't mean you are educated in the social sense. Infanticide based on gender is still as prevalent in the south as it is in the north and although finding out the sex of your child before birth is illegal it is still done.
Girls are the least desirable of the sexes to the point that one of the greatest insults you can say to someone is "may you have 10 daughters and may they all marry well". (The latter part of the phrase refers to the dowry paid by the family of the bride to the family of the husband.) In spite of this there is a common practice in families full of just sons. In these families one son is chosen, usually the youngest, and is dressed up, made to look like and treated as if he were a girl!! Some of these boys are unable to pull out of the female role and grow up living their lives as cross dressers. One of those occasions where they are allowed into the town is for a ceremony performed once a year for the boys. In this event an idol is built out of wood and tied together to be made to look like a person. The boys are wedded to this figure just before it is set on fire, (a la Burning Man style). The boys cry and scream that their husband is now dead and what are they going to do; this ceremony signifies the justification for their celibacy. These transexuals are exiled by society to the fringes of the towns and the only other time they are allowed to engage with society is when there is going to be a wedding or a child has just been born. In both of these cases a blessing from a transexual is very auspicious.
95% of all marriages are arranged in India and only 5% are what they call "love marriages". In a culture that gives more respect and credibility to men than it does to women it makes being a western woman in the country twice as difficult. Fortunately, I'm aware that my greatest asset in any country is a local and I am quick to meet people. You would be shocked how differently I get treated when I am with an India man than I do in any other circumstance! Something as menial as ordering a meal can take up to 3 hours and then the wrong meal arrives, then you wait another hour for the wrong check, but when I was with an Indian man that never happen.
What I've learned about India:
-Here, they do what is necessary at the moment
-Daybreak, sunset, middle of the night, it doesn't matter- roosters crow when they want.
-Your country is only as educated as the women in it
-Indians are like mirrors- they give you back the same expression you are wearing on your face
-I didn't realize I still had privacy until it was gone in India
What I've learned is international:
-smelly people
-tuk-tuk/matatus
-motorbike/boda/boda
-sucking teeth
-spitting
-cheap filler foods of empty carbs
-chai
-marketplaces
-negotiable EVERYTHING
-helpful people
-men who waste their time and money playing cards and drinking
-traffic lanes as suggestions and not laws
-out running the police as an option
-staff not privy to the services they provide customers with (ie: tech support when they don't have a computer of their own)
Whenever a welcoming ceremony was performed in both Nepal and India they would give us garlands of flowers, but I began to notice, and too frequently for it to be a coincidence, that there was hair wrapped within the necklace. When I asked about this they explained that hair is seen as a relic of beauty and that it is given to the gods on many different occasions and that children's heads are shaved when they are very young to ensure thick hair...but just in case the shaved hair of the baby is given as an offering. They said that the hair in the garland was a way of "combining beauties".
Ash, kum kum or sandlewood are worn on the foreheads of the people in the south for two reasons: 1) the ash is a reminder that one day we too will be ash and 2) when put on the place on the forehead, it has an immediate cooling property to it.
India is where modern laws and ancient traditions collide. In a country where love affairs are punishable by death and you must be 25 to drink alcohol, one learns that what is written in the law books and what can be enforced in a population so dense are two different things. In a nation where 24% of GDP goes to national security and defense because of tension with China, Bangladesh and Pakistan. 5 million of India's 1.1 billion citizens are in the military.
I think the most surprising part of Indian culture wasn't the ceremonies, but rather the unexpected conservatism and socially acceptable domestic violence. When traveling to cover up countries you expect the repression of women; it's not only understood by the population it is written into law, but when you arrive in a country so exposed to the western culture and realize how little of it has been adopted it makes you wonder. Women in many parts of the country still ride side saddle on motorbikes and cover their faces in public. Indeed, many of the people especially in the south, are "educated", but I think a distinction needs to be made here when talking about education. Just because you are literate doesn't mean you are educated in the social sense. Infanticide based on gender is still as prevalent in the south as it is in the north and although finding out the sex of your child before birth is illegal it is still done.
Girls are the least desirable of the sexes to the point that one of the greatest insults you can say to someone is "may you have 10 daughters and may they all marry well". (The latter part of the phrase refers to the dowry paid by the family of the bride to the family of the husband.) In spite of this there is a common practice in families full of just sons. In these families one son is chosen, usually the youngest, and is dressed up, made to look like and treated as if he were a girl!! Some of these boys are unable to pull out of the female role and grow up living their lives as cross dressers. One of those occasions where they are allowed into the town is for a ceremony performed once a year for the boys. In this event an idol is built out of wood and tied together to be made to look like a person. The boys are wedded to this figure just before it is set on fire, (a la Burning Man style). The boys cry and scream that their husband is now dead and what are they going to do; this ceremony signifies the justification for their celibacy. These transexuals are exiled by society to the fringes of the towns and the only other time they are allowed to engage with society is when there is going to be a wedding or a child has just been born. In both of these cases a blessing from a transexual is very auspicious.
95% of all marriages are arranged in India and only 5% are what they call "love marriages". In a culture that gives more respect and credibility to men than it does to women it makes being a western woman in the country twice as difficult. Fortunately, I'm aware that my greatest asset in any country is a local and I am quick to meet people. You would be shocked how differently I get treated when I am with an India man than I do in any other circumstance! Something as menial as ordering a meal can take up to 3 hours and then the wrong meal arrives, then you wait another hour for the wrong check, but when I was with an Indian man that never happen.
What I've learned about India:
-Here, they do what is necessary at the moment
-Daybreak, sunset, middle of the night, it doesn't matter- roosters crow when they want.
-Your country is only as educated as the women in it
-Indians are like mirrors- they give you back the same expression you are wearing on your face
-I didn't realize I still had privacy until it was gone in India
What I've learned is international:
-smelly people
-tuk-tuk/matatus
-motorbike/boda/boda
-sucking teeth
-spitting
-cheap filler foods of empty carbs
-chai
-marketplaces
-negotiable EVERYTHING
-helpful people
-men who waste their time and money playing cards and drinking
-traffic lanes as suggestions and not laws
-out running the police as an option
-staff not privy to the services they provide customers with (ie: tech support when they don't have a computer of their own)
Indians are the Italians of Asia
"There is so much Italian in the Indians, and so much Indian in the Italians. They are both people of the Madonna-they demand a goddess, even if the religion does not provide one. Every man in both countries is a singer when he is happy, and every woman a dancer when she walks to the shop at the corner. For them, food is music inside the body, and music is food inside the heart. The language of India and the language of Italy, they make every man a poet, and make something beautiful from every banalite. These are nations where love- amore, pyaar- makes a cavalier of a Borsalino on a street corner, and a princess of a peasant girl, if only for the second that her eyes meet yours."
That was a quote from the book "Shantaram" and though it may be true that Indians demand a goddess I assure you they don't value her as much as they would her male equivilent. This was one of the things I found most significant about India: for as exposed as they are to the western culture they are quite conservative as a country. In places like Africa and India's neighboring country, Nepal, the women were conservative to the extent that women from the baby boomer generation would were long skirts that covered their legs down to the ankle and would sit side saddle while riding a motorbike. You could see the progress of a country through the clothing and riding style of the younger girls. In India however every female member of that family piled on the motorbike would be ring side saddle. They have shawls that cover their heads in many areas and many walk a meter behind their husbands. The perception of western women and their "lack of morals" can't help but affect the way we are treated when visiting India...Let me tell you a story:
After arriving in Delhi, a poor and polluted city yes, but developed as far as I was concerned, I needed a beauty day. I went to the closest 5 star hotel with my hair color in hand. After sitting down for my manicure the young man, not more than 19, starts talking to me while my hands soak. He continues while he massages my hands and shoulders, but couldn't understand why I got upset when he started massaging my boobs!! (Btw, I really wish I could say that this is the first time this has happened...I wish I could say that this was the only country. But alas, Egypt's shampoo guy got a little frisky with the bubbles as well.)
God knows it's not India without the wabble, but the funniest part wasn't how I seamlessly picked it up unintentionally, (well that was pretty funny b/c I didn't even realize I was doing it on the phone), it was their responses when I would ask what it meant. No one gave me the same answer! I came to the conclusion that it means any one of the following:
- "How are you?"
- "I'm well"
- "I'm good and you can trust me"
- "I agree"
- "Okay"
- "Okay, but I don't agree"
- "Okay, but I don't want to"
- "No, but I don't want to tell you no"
There are literally people everywhere you go in the country so I think Indians have incorporated the only motto that can work in a country so densely populated: do what is necessary. When getting on the train along with everyone else and their mother what is necessary is to push your way through the non-existant queue and get yourself a seat on the train, but once on and the train begins to move assuring passengers boarded that they have nothing to worry about and passengers still trying to get on to cut their losses, what is necessary is to place one hand on my heart and the other hand on your knee that that I just bumped b/c as the passenger riding in the seat across from you for the next 12 hours that is what is necessary to make our journey pleasant.
75% of India's population are Hindu, the third largest religion in the world next to Islam and Christianity. Hinduism began in 2000 B.C. and Buddhism in 600 B.C.. Shiva, the destroyer or god of new opportunity, is popular in the south. Vishnu, the god who reincarnates himself to come to Earth essentially to save us from ourselves each time is quite popular in the north. (The 9th and latest reincarnation was Buddha.) I was quite unhappy to find that Brahma, my favorite god and husband of my favorite goddess Saraswati, had very few temples. (Saraswati is the goddess of learning and the arts, music and wisdom. She is the goddess students pray to just before an exam!) It seemed everyone was interested in worshipping Shiva and I though that was kind of unfair since Brahma was doing all the creating and Vishnu was continually fixing the situation. When I asked about why I was told of the story where Vishnu and Brahma got into an argument about which of them was more powerful. Shiva was to be referee and took on his largest form. He told Brahma to find his head and Vishnu to find his feet. The legend says that Brahma took a flower from a nest assuming the bird had been able to make it to the top, rather than having to go all the way himself, but when asked about it upon his return he lied and said he had gone to the top himself. His punishment for lying is that there were very few temples built for him.
Durga- Protectress and slayer of the buffalo demon
Lakshmi/Laxmi- Goddess of wealth, fortune and prosperity
Parvarti- (married to Shiva) Goddess of power
Ganesh- (son of Parvarti and Shiva) Elephant headed remover of obstacles
Brahma- (married to Saraswati) The Creator
Vishnu- (married to Laxmi) The Preserver
Shiva- (married to Parvarti) The Destroyer
That was a quote from the book "Shantaram" and though it may be true that Indians demand a goddess I assure you they don't value her as much as they would her male equivilent. This was one of the things I found most significant about India: for as exposed as they are to the western culture they are quite conservative as a country. In places like Africa and India's neighboring country, Nepal, the women were conservative to the extent that women from the baby boomer generation would were long skirts that covered their legs down to the ankle and would sit side saddle while riding a motorbike. You could see the progress of a country through the clothing and riding style of the younger girls. In India however every female member of that family piled on the motorbike would be ring side saddle. They have shawls that cover their heads in many areas and many walk a meter behind their husbands. The perception of western women and their "lack of morals" can't help but affect the way we are treated when visiting India...Let me tell you a story:
After arriving in Delhi, a poor and polluted city yes, but developed as far as I was concerned, I needed a beauty day. I went to the closest 5 star hotel with my hair color in hand. After sitting down for my manicure the young man, not more than 19, starts talking to me while my hands soak. He continues while he massages my hands and shoulders, but couldn't understand why I got upset when he started massaging my boobs!! (Btw, I really wish I could say that this is the first time this has happened...I wish I could say that this was the only country. But alas, Egypt's shampoo guy got a little frisky with the bubbles as well.)
God knows it's not India without the wabble, but the funniest part wasn't how I seamlessly picked it up unintentionally, (well that was pretty funny b/c I didn't even realize I was doing it on the phone), it was their responses when I would ask what it meant. No one gave me the same answer! I came to the conclusion that it means any one of the following:
- "How are you?"
- "I'm well"
- "I'm good and you can trust me"
- "I agree"
- "Okay"
- "Okay, but I don't agree"
- "Okay, but I don't want to"
- "No, but I don't want to tell you no"
There are literally people everywhere you go in the country so I think Indians have incorporated the only motto that can work in a country so densely populated: do what is necessary. When getting on the train along with everyone else and their mother what is necessary is to push your way through the non-existant queue and get yourself a seat on the train, but once on and the train begins to move assuring passengers boarded that they have nothing to worry about and passengers still trying to get on to cut their losses, what is necessary is to place one hand on my heart and the other hand on your knee that that I just bumped b/c as the passenger riding in the seat across from you for the next 12 hours that is what is necessary to make our journey pleasant.
75% of India's population are Hindu, the third largest religion in the world next to Islam and Christianity. Hinduism began in 2000 B.C. and Buddhism in 600 B.C.. Shiva, the destroyer or god of new opportunity, is popular in the south. Vishnu, the god who reincarnates himself to come to Earth essentially to save us from ourselves each time is quite popular in the north. (The 9th and latest reincarnation was Buddha.) I was quite unhappy to find that Brahma, my favorite god and husband of my favorite goddess Saraswati, had very few temples. (Saraswati is the goddess of learning and the arts, music and wisdom. She is the goddess students pray to just before an exam!) It seemed everyone was interested in worshipping Shiva and I though that was kind of unfair since Brahma was doing all the creating and Vishnu was continually fixing the situation. When I asked about why I was told of the story where Vishnu and Brahma got into an argument about which of them was more powerful. Shiva was to be referee and took on his largest form. He told Brahma to find his head and Vishnu to find his feet. The legend says that Brahma took a flower from a nest assuming the bird had been able to make it to the top, rather than having to go all the way himself, but when asked about it upon his return he lied and said he had gone to the top himself. His punishment for lying is that there were very few temples built for him.
Durga- Protectress and slayer of the buffalo demon
Lakshmi/Laxmi- Goddess of wealth, fortune and prosperity
Parvarti- (married to Shiva) Goddess of power
Ganesh- (son of Parvarti and Shiva) Elephant headed remover of obstacles
Brahma- (married to Saraswati) The Creator
Vishnu- (married to Laxmi) The Preserver
Shiva- (married to Parvarti) The Destroyer
"You Americans may have watches, but we Indians have time"
You know you have been in a developing country when you take a paper towel from the dispenser before you even check the stall for paper. You know you've been in a developing country too long when you try to shove the unused paper towel back in the dispenser when you come out because there was toilet paper.
Here are some of the phrases and facts I've learned since I've learned since I've been in Nepal and India.
"Don't expect a banana from an apple tree"- This is the equivalent to our "you reap what you sow" saying.
"The bathroom may be nice, but you don't take your meals there"- This is used to prove the point that there is a time for everything.
I learned that goats with vasectomies tend to have more meat on their bodies and that goats which haven't been neutered have a stronger smelling meat.
Twice the circumference of an elephant's foot is equal to it's height.
The only place an elephant sweats is from the toenails.
The differences between Asian elephants and African elephants:
Asian African
2 domes on their head 1 dome on their head
10-12 feet tall 12-15 feet tall
Grey color Grey brown color
Spots on the ears and trunk that develop with age No spots at all
Ears are in the shape of India and Nepal Ears in the shape of Africa
Ear flaps forward Ear flaps back
Trunk comes to one point at the tip Trunk comes to two points at the tip
5 toes in the front and 4 in the back 4 toes in the front and 3 in the back
Rhinos only digest 45% of what they eat.
Rhinos always return to the same area to poo and this habit makes killing the rhinos much easier for the poacher because all they have to do is wait there for the rhino to return.
The "Rhino Apple Tree" is named after the rhino not only because they are the primary source of the seeds dispersal, but also because that is the best tree to climb when a rhino is chasing you. It has a smooth bark that won't tear up you skin.
Climbing a tree is one way to get away from a rhino when they attack, but be sure to run in a zig zag fashion because they have thick neck skin which makes it difficult for they to turn their heads or change direction.
When a tiger is attacking it's best to look them in the face rather than run because they will only attack from the back. This is why hunters wear a face mask on backwards when in the wild.
Here are some of the phrases and facts I've learned since I've learned since I've been in Nepal and India.
"Don't expect a banana from an apple tree"- This is the equivalent to our "you reap what you sow" saying.
"The bathroom may be nice, but you don't take your meals there"- This is used to prove the point that there is a time for everything.
I learned that goats with vasectomies tend to have more meat on their bodies and that goats which haven't been neutered have a stronger smelling meat.
Twice the circumference of an elephant's foot is equal to it's height.
The only place an elephant sweats is from the toenails.
The differences between Asian elephants and African elephants:
Asian African
2 domes on their head 1 dome on their head
10-12 feet tall 12-15 feet tall
Grey color Grey brown color
Spots on the ears and trunk that develop with age No spots at all
Ears are in the shape of India and Nepal Ears in the shape of Africa
Ear flaps forward Ear flaps back
Trunk comes to one point at the tip Trunk comes to two points at the tip
5 toes in the front and 4 in the back 4 toes in the front and 3 in the back
Rhinos only digest 45% of what they eat.
Rhinos always return to the same area to poo and this habit makes killing the rhinos much easier for the poacher because all they have to do is wait there for the rhino to return.
The "Rhino Apple Tree" is named after the rhino not only because they are the primary source of the seeds dispersal, but also because that is the best tree to climb when a rhino is chasing you. It has a smooth bark that won't tear up you skin.
Climbing a tree is one way to get away from a rhino when they attack, but be sure to run in a zig zag fashion because they have thick neck skin which makes it difficult for they to turn their heads or change direction.
When a tiger is attacking it's best to look them in the face rather than run because they will only attack from the back. This is why hunters wear a face mask on backwards when in the wild.
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